Awesomely Bad

It's no secret here at SHA that we think Mebron James is a world class douchenozzle, so much so that we are pretty sure he wets his bed at night, granted peeing on sheets of gold isn't nearly as bad as what we are all used to, believe me, I looked it up on the internet. Well after the Mebacle back when we all learned where someone "takes their talents", the Mebron machine went in to image restoration overdrive, unfortunately they apparently attended the Tiger Woods school of image restoration, which has since been closed down due to incompetence. Here is the latest ad campaign for the Nike employee, which is not too dissimilar to the self-appointed King's recent Twitter declaration to retweet some of the Twitter hate he receives, which itself is not unlike what a 13 year old girl might do.

I've questioned some of the marketing moves with the Queen's newly tarnished image, but this one really takes the cake. Essentially the 90 second ad - yes, 90 seconds - blames the audience for buying in to the carefully crafted image Team Mebron has been working on for the last eight years, claiming Mebron doesn't have to be what we want him to be. It's pretty classic that he jokes about acting considering he has several ad campaigns which feature more of him acting than doing sports, not to mention he has a movie project in the works. Then there's the idea "should i be a villain"? You don't have a choice you mutant that lacks any sense of self-awareness, you are a villain because you are a world class douche. No stolen routines of the clapping of chalk or team dances are going to change that.

Also calling out Barkley in the commercial?  Can someone please give this moron some advice that doesn't resemble what the worst kid in third grade would recommend to his friends?

It's a shame that those hoity-toity awards people didn't recognize the mesmerizing performance of Chris Klein as Charlie Nash in last year's awesomely bad Street Fighter: The Legend Of Chun Li. Thankfully the interwebs brewed up a stew of awesome and the result is this amazing video below featuring all of the scenes where the master thespian blesses us with some of the finest acting the world has ever seen. Who would have thought the guy that played a dumb Rugby player in American Pie could put in a performance like this?   [via filmdrunk]

If you're like me you had better things to do on Saturday than pay attention to Glenn Beck's non-political ode to himself in Washington D.C. Thankfully for us those of us that missed the day's events, New Left Media went around and visited with some of the proud Americans who were there to help embrace all that is wrong with our wonderful country. Unfortunately these patriots are just a tad bit uninformed, although they wear denial nicely, sort of like that denim jacket you've been rocking lately. Feed me some Muslim lies you crazed new lefties.

On 8.28.2010, Glenn Beck’s “Restoring Honor” rally was held on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.  The purpose of the rally, which Beck claimed to be “non-political” despite featuring Tea Party-favorite Sarah Palin as a speaker and its being attended entirely by conservatives, was unclear.  The participants spoke abstractly about the need to restore “honor” and “pride” to a country that had lost it.  When pressed for when our country had lost its honor, most cited the election of Barack Obama.8.28.2010 also represented the 47th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King’s famous “I Have a Dream” speech, and Glenn Beck has been criticized for by civil rights groups for trying to misappropriate the occasion.

Last year, Beck referred to Barack Obama—our country’s first African-American President--as a “racist… who has a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture.”  When offered the chance to respond to Beck’s statements, his fans either agreed with him or simply refused to believe that he had ever made them.

While the speaker list was diverse, the overwhelmingly white crowd expressed paranoid and conspiratorial fears of multiculturalism—that atheists or black liberation theologists or radical Muslims or “free-loading” Latinos were going to ruin our country.  There was the constant suggestion that white Christians and their way of life are somehow under assault, and that the attendees of this rally were here to put an end to it and return the country to what it used to be.

Either way Glen Beck would never say Obama is a racist. It's thirteen minutes long so clear some schedule if you're going to take the plunge as it's thirteen minutes of bliss if you enjoy watching people disregard facts and reality. I'd also like to commend interviewer Chase Whiteside for his patience and lack of any mocking tone, which is the cheap route I would have taken.

Also I just know what my sister tells me.   [via the daily what]

This might be the greatest collection of videos in the history of the internet, or at the very least this website, excluding Friday's Foreign Covers and Kids Incorporated Mondays of course. Earlier today I was checking out one of the blogs I frequent, and found an off topic article about the Mosque at Ground Zero. It's a good read that says pretty much everything I believe about the whole thing exactly so instead of make up my own words to say that I'll just recommend you read "Everything Mosque Go" over at The Bitter Script Reader, if you're in to that sort of thing. To simplify if you think building a mosque at Ground Zero is legitimately unfair or "a slap in the face" or whatever, we're probably not going to be very good friends. On the other hand if you are one of those people that can find the funny in the whole dealio then boy do I have a list for you, the Top 5 Awesomely Bad Ground Zero Mosque Songs On YouTube*.  Woo hoo! Partay!

The first one is unbelievably catchy, then they sort of go downhill from there, although keep in mind the top of the hill was incredibly high to start with. In a not very accidental nod to Vanessa Williams, I done gone ahead and saved the best for last, possibly. While not really focusing on Ground Zero, bassman619's "I'm Afraid Of Obama" does have a pertinent verse so it made the list.

Mosque near Ground Zero, he standing behind
Mr Chicago must be losing his mind.
I'm afraid of Obama
I'm afraid of Obama

Full lyrics for the bassman619's sure to be hit after the jump. This collection of images of current businesses on "Hallowed Ground" is pretty good too.

* - Really just the first five I found, but they were all really great.

I'm afraid of Obama
He remind me of a crippled llama
I'm afraid of Obama
I'm afraid of Obama

He come on like a Messiah
He want set constitution on fire
I'm afraid of Obama
I'm afraid of Obama

He don't like capitalism don't you see
I am a businessman, he do not like me
I'm afraid of Obama
I'm afraid of Obama

He want redistribute my wealth
He already mess up plan of my health
I'm afraid of Obama
I'm afraid of Obama

He take no action on the oil
Watch my blood begin to boil
I'm afraid of Obama
I'm afraid of Obama

He take vacations every week
Mountain of BS really starting to reek
I'm afraid of Obama
I'm afraid of Obama

Mosque near Ground Zero, he standing behind
Mr Chicago must be losing his mind.
I'm afraid of Obama
I'm afraid of Obama

VP biden have foot in his mouth
Watch our economy traveling south
I'm afraid of Obama
I'm afraid of Obama

Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid
Two retards you can plainly see
I'm afraid of Obama
I'm afraid of Obama