David Hasselhoff

David Hasselhoff Does Porn For Sons Of Anarchy

In news that undoubtedly will set your heart a flutter, the one and only David Hasselhoff has signed on to join the boys of SAMCRO on the upcoming fourth season of FX's fantastic Sons Of Anarchy. In a role that sounds even better than last season's cleaner, played by Stephen King, the Hoff will fufill his life long destiny of joining the porn industry. Clearly the cheeseburger afficianado negotiated some anatomy descriptors in to his contract.

The former America's Got Talent judge will play Dondo, a well-endowed former porn star who is now making major coin by producing sleazy girl-on-girl adult films. Turns out Dondo was given a major career boost by Luanne (Dendrie Taylor) and gets involved in a little dirty work in her memory.

Sadly I've never met an adult film producer, but I can't imagine any of them fill the stereotype I envision any better than the Hoff. But wait, it gets better, sort of. Per showrunner/potty mouth extraordinaire Kurt Sutter comes the following mind-blower:

here's the best part... hoff and tom arnold in the same scene. say it ain't so, joe. say it ain't so...  

Oh how I love thee Mr. Sutter. Season 4 of the third best show on television (1 - South Park, 2- Breaking Bad) starts some time this September.  [via tvguide]

Casting
Television
FX
Sons Of Anarchy
David Hasselhoff
Tom Arnold
Kurt Sutter

A Lost Intro That Would Make Hasselhoff Proud

My main complaint with Lost aside from the whole not making sense thing is that they don't have a kickass opening credits thingy.  Luckily we do have the internet which means that someone somewhere has done their own awesome version.  Here we have scenes from the show cut to the Baywatch intro which obviously means we have a healthy serving of awesome. 

Apparently Sophie makes a lot of these Lost videos.  If you're in to Miley Cyrus or Lost you might enjoy the video below which features Hurley doing stuff set to Party In The USA.   [via warming glow]

Television
Mashup
Video
David Hasselhoff
Lost
Baywatch

David Goyer To Write New Superman Film

I'm not sure there is anything more American than Superman.  Some people might say apple pie or Tony Danza, but for me Clark Kent is about as American as it gets, so you can imagine how great it felt to read the news that a new Superman film was in the works.  Pinche Taco over at the awesome movie blog Latino Review is reporting that screenwriter David Goyer has been hired to write The Man Of Steel.

The film will not be a remake, or an origin story so you can say goodbye to Brian Singer and Brandon Routh.  Operating off the audiences assumed knowledge of some Superman backstory, Goyer's story is set to feature Lex Luthor and Braniac.  Of course Pinche Taco also mentions that The Daily Planet will be struggling because of the internet, hopefully that's not as cliche as it sounds.

Some people will get really excited about the involvement of David Goyer because he is credited as contributing to the story of The Dark Knight and as a co-writer of Batman Begins.  That is all well and good but there was some Christopher Nolan involved there as well and that may have just been some awesomeness rubbing off.  The rest of Goyer's credits aren't exactly awe inspiring.  Well, thechnically that is not true.  Since I love the Hoff I have obviously seen one of Goyer's masterpieces, Nick Fury: Agent Of Shield.  Wowzas.

I feel like a drunk sailor when I watch this clip of the Hoff doing his thing as Nick Fury.  The lack of a nomination for this amazing work is why I have a hard time trusting the Oscars.  

News
Movies
Superman
Screenwriter
The Man Of Steel
David Hasselhoff

David Hasselhoff Valentine's Day Concert Is Real, Soon

I'm not making this up, and apparently Team Hoff isn't either as it is actually listed on the Cache Creek website.  I guess I just picked a really shitty weekend to be broke and not in Brooks, California.  How awesome is the Hoff's official description from his website.

I am pleased to announce that on February 14th (yes, that is St Valentine's Day for all you romantics), I will be opening my new Hofftastic World Tour 2010 at the beautiful Cache Creek Casino and Resort. I will be rockin' out to all the old favorites and introducing stunning new material in a dazzling orgy of showmanship and visual effects that will blow your socks HOFF!!!!! Working with legendary Musical Director and long-time Hoff collaborator Marcus Barone for the last two years, I have lovingly crafted an exquisite show that will thrill, inspire, seduce and, above all, entertain you... I guarantee you, this will be a Valentines Day you will never forget!!!!

Of course you won't forget it.  Nobody forgets when they see a terrible accident or in this case trainwreck, or, if I want to borrow something from the Hoff world, seeing a man rolling around on the ground with a cheeseburger.

Please someone attend this and take pictures and write a review for SHA.  I will be forever jealous.  You can get tickets right here.  And just so you have a taste of the beauty you may be partaking in, here is the Hoff pretending he's not lip synching Rhinestone Cowboy.

News
Music
Awesomely Bad
Valentine's Day
David Hasselhoff

Holy Hasselhoff Reality Show

Los Angeles is now painted in Steven Seagal Lawman billboards, and with that I thought the reality tv world had gone as far as it could go.  Apparently not because here comes The Hoff.   TMZ is reporting

We're told The Hoff has a deal in place with A&E that is close ... but not quite done. A rep for A&E tells us, "We are discussing a possibility of doing a documentary series with David and his kids."

David's daughter Hayley tweeted last week, "The Hasselhoffs signed the deal with A&E ..... Get readdyy for it."

A Hasselhoff rep says the deal isn't signed yet.

Somehow I had no clue of this but thanks to Warming Glow we now have the above video.  Apparently those lucky bastards across the pond have already been in the David Hasselhoff family reality tv show business.  I don't know what it is with all the people in Europe and their deep devotion to and love of all things Hoff, but I full support everything about it.

My favorite part is probably when they are talking about LA and he just goes on and on about Broadway, good times.  Also, is it me or does he tend to scream and yell like a ten year old at an arcade all hopped up on sugar?

Television
Reality Shows
Awesomely Bad
Video
David Hasselhoff