Movies

Finally The Disney Version Of Full Metal Jacket Is Here

Submitted by phletch on Tue, 2010-08-31 10:40
in

It's pretty clear that the one thing preventing Stanley Kubrick's Full Metal Jacket from truly becoming a cinematic masterpiece is that for all of its amazing storytelling and performances, there really isn't much for kids to connect with. Of course it's not at the ideal time as the film's legendary director passed away eleven years ago, but it looks as if that one problem has finally been solved. A new cut is making it's way around the interwebs that replaces the abrasive sounding jacket with something a little more kid-friendly: Full Metal Disney.

Donald Duck voicing R Lee Ermey in his iconic role as Gunnery Sargeant Hartman? Yes please. Yes please very much.   [via filmdrunk]

See video

Haiku Reviews: Piranha 3D

Submitted by Fluffhead on Mon, 2010-08-30 13:31
in

Killer piranhas

How I love thee so it hurts

Not like a bite though

 

You are what you are

B-movie super goodness

With lots of fake boobs

 

Exceeded my hopes

Loved the dolly zoom Jaws nod

With lots of fake boobs

 

James Cameron douche

Doesn't respect your 3D

Likes whine with his cheese

 

Sequel in the works

Will miss Adam Scott for reals

Get rid of the kids

Steve Urkel Joins The Monster Craze, Cast In Megashark Vs Crocosaurus

Submitted by phletch on Thu, 2010-08-26 17:55
in

Joining luminaries like Tiffany, Deborah Gibson, Barry Williams and Eric Roberts in the giant sized creature features will be everyone's favorite nerdy neighbor Steven Urkel, or as he's claiming his name is these days, Jaleel White. Obviously your immediate thought is what incredible new monster will Urkel be battling. Super-sized baracuda? Killer tadpoles? A giant horny toad? Maybe even some kangaroo rattlesnake hybrid? Well there's good news and bad news.

The band news is there's no new super monster really. The good news is that the suspender afficianado will be starring in the sequel to the amazing Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus, which will this time see the flying shark battle a Crocosaurus in the aptly titled Mega Shark Vs. Crocosaurus. If the people over at The Asylum have as good of a sense of humor as they seem to, it seems pretty clear that Urkel's suspenders should somehow tie up the croc's mouth rendering it useless. Then Urkel will be standing there in his boxers having saved the world from the terrible croc before his trademark "did I do that?" sends us to the credits.   [via dread central]

Awesome Image: Leonardo DiCaprio Has A Sad

Submitted by Cornelius on Wed, 2010-08-25 17:51
in

So that's how you get supermodels? Needs more cowbell.   [via the daily what]

127 Hours

Submitted by phletch on Tue, 2010-08-24 15:38
in
See video
Release Date: 
Nov 5 2010
Director: 
Danny Boyle
Cast: 
James Franco
Cast: 
Amber Tamblyn
Cast: 
Kate Mara
Cast: 
Clemence Posey
Synopsis: 
127 HOURS is the new film from Danny Boyle, the Academy Award winning director of last year’s Best Picture, SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE. 127 HOURS is the true story of mountain climber Aron Ralston’s (James Franco) remarkable adventure to save himself after a fallen boulder crashes on his arm and traps him in an isolated canyon in Utah. Over the next five days Ralston examines his life and survives the elements to finally discover he has the courage and the wherewithal to extricate himself by any means necessary, scale a 65 foot wall and hike over eight miles before he is finally rescued. Throughout his journey, Ralston recalls friends, lovers (Clemence Poesy), family, and the two hikers (Amber Tamblyn and Kate Mara) he met before his accident. Will they be the last two people he ever had the chance to meet? A visceral thrilling story that will take an audience on a never before experienced journey and prove what we can do when we choose life.

The movie is supposed to be mainly a one man show, so it looks like the teaser is throwing out the first five minutes and set up while relying on Boyle's reputation. The story is an interesting one, although I'm still concerned about flashback heavy crutches in an effort to keep the audience interested. Boyle used two cinematographers for the film, Anthony Dod Mantle and Enrique Chediak, so at the very least there will be something pretty to focus on if the story gets too drawn out. What are your thoughts on 127 Hours?

Haiku Reviews: The Expendables

Submitted by Fluffhead on Tue, 2010-08-17 19:10
in

Oh Sly you devil

I wished the movie was good

'Twas expendable

 

It needs more Drago

Or at least have him do roids

Show sense of humor

 

Still it could be worse

So cheesy it's not really

But not too funny

 

Tons of stuff blows up

Tons of dudes get super dead

Sly can do better

Black Swan

Submitted by phletch on Tue, 2010-08-17 18:29
in
See video
Release Date: 
Dec 1 2010
Director: 
Darren Aronofsky
Cast: 
Natalie Portman
Cast: 
Mila Kunis
Cast: 
Vincent Cassel
Cast: 
Winona Ryder
Synopsis: 
BLACK SWAN follows the story of Nina (Portman), a ballerina in a New York City ballet company whose life, like all those in her profession, is completely consumed with dance. She lives with her retired ballerina mother Erica (Barbara Hershey) who zealously supports her daughter’s professional ambition. When artistic director Thomas Leroy (Vincent Cassel) decides to replace prima ballerina Beth MacIntyre (Winona Ryder) for the opening production of their new season, Swan Lake, Nina is his first choice. But Nina has competition: a new dancer, Lily (Kunis), who impresses Leroy as well. Swan Lake requires a dancer who can play both the White Swan with innocence and grace, and the Black Swan, who represents guile and sensuality. Nina fits the White Swan role perfectly but Lily is the personification of the Black Swan. As the two young dancers expand their rivalry into a twisted friendship, Nina begins to get more in touch with her dark side with a recklessness that threatens to destroy her.

For a movie that has a lot of ballerina dancing it looks pretty darn creepy, in the best way possible. The cast and director make it an automatic for me, and the fact that it looks extremely intense certainly doesn't hurt it any. What are your thoughts on Black Swan?

I'm Still Here

Submitted by phletch on Tue, 2010-08-17 08:29
in
See video
Release Date: 
Sep 10 2010
Director: 
Casey Affleck
Cast: 
Joaquin Phoenix
Synopsis: 
I'm Still Here is a portrayal of a tumultuous year in the life of actor Joaquin Phoenix. With remarkable access, the documentary follows the Oscar-nominee as he announces his retirement from a successful film career in the fall of 2008 and sets off to reinvent himself as a hip hop musician. The film is a portrait of an artist at a crossroads and explores notions of courage and creative reinvention, as well as the ramifications of a life spent in the public eye.

It's hard to get too excited about something everyone knew all along was for the cameras that happened several years ago, but at the same time it's so incredibly meta there's a perverted attraction. Especially when you hear about the supposed snorting cocaine off boobs, or oral sex with a publicist that is apparently part of the film. Shock and awe backfires more than it hits so I'm a little worried about the quality here, as the originality of it doesn't even exist. They are aware Jackass is still around right? What are your thoughts on I'm Still Here?

Rooney Mara Officially Cast As Lisbeth Salander For Millenium Trilogy

Submitted by phletch on Mon, 2010-08-16 14:16
in

After ridiculous amounts of rumors and speculation, Rooney Mara has been cast in the lead role of Lisbeth Salander opposite Daniel Craig in David Fincher's adaptation of Stieg Larsson's The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. The best selling novel is the first of the three part Millenium Trilogy by the late author followed by The Girl Who Played With Fire and The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest. Mara won the role over a who's who of younger actresses presumably thanks to her appearance in Fincher's upcoming The Social Network. She also played the role of Nancy in the incredibly meh A Nightmare On Elm Street remake.

The deals for both Craig and Mara are said to include options for the other two films, although it is still unclear whether Fincher will return to the director's chair for those. The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo is currently set for a December 21, 2011 release.   [via deadline]

Randall Miller To Direct Dennis Wilson Biopic The Drummer

Submitted by phletch on Mon, 2010-08-16 12:04
in

There haven't been too many movie updates to the site recently because I sort of got tired of writing about remakes of movies I liked when I was a kid, but we're inching towards the good part of the year, a new PTA film looms on the horizon, and there's some legitimately super hella awesome news floating around the interwebs today. Jody Savin and Randall Miller recently announced a new film called The Drummer about one of my favorite people ever. Here's the synopsis currently listed on IMDB.

The Drummer is the story of this inimitably talented but perennially disparaged man, the only true surfer of The Beach Boys and one of the truly original voices in Rock & Roll history. Intimate and personal, the story tracks the last six years of Beach Boys drummer's life, the younger brother to front man Brian, as he evolves into a creative force. Dennis Wilson digs his way out from under the shadow of his tyrannical father, corrals the demons and harnesses the will to tap his own artistry in order to create the critically applauded Pacific Ocean Blue. The film starts in the midst of The Beach Boys' fame and follows Dennis' journey, replete with decadence, drugs, love and tragedy. Despite Dennis' fall into drugs and alcohol, ultimately it is his music and his uniquely magnanimous spirit that endures.

This is just really great news. Brian will always be the "genius" of the Wilson boys, and Carl is one of my favorite vocalists of all time, but Dennis had quite a bit more musical ability than he is often credited with and it's nice to see someone hopefully bringing that to the masses. Pacific Ocean Blue is an often overlooked gem, and it recently received the reissue treatment along with the inclusion of Wilson's previously unreleased follow up Bambu.

Unfortunately like so many others, Dennis Wilson fell prey to his demons. At the age of 39 he drowned in Marina Del Rey harbor after a day of drinking back in 1983. As if that wasn't tragic enough Wilson is reported to have jumped in the water to retrieve some possessions he had thrown overboard from his boat a few years before. The good news is it seems like Miller, who directed 2008's Bottle Shock, has a good grasp of his subject.

"Dennis was a pained and tortured soul, yet brilliant and loved dearly by so many who knew him," says Miller. "This film has the makings of a tour-de-force performance in the hands of the right actor. As a director, I search for stories that expose the soul of a character in new territories that excite me as a filmmaker."

Adding to the hopefullness is the inclusion of the Wilson family in the project by way of his daughter Jennifer. The film will include some of Pacific Ocean Blue as well as other unreleased material from the legendary musician. Considering he is the Beach Boy with the Charles Manson connection, his tortured relationship with his father, and his fast lane lifestyle the pieces are all there to make this a memorable picture. James Franco anybody?   [via spinner]

Syndicate content