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SHA Takes On The NFL Lockout With The Bad News Bears

I'm not a scientist, and believe me this would all be a lot easier if I were just a thawed out caveman, but again, that is not a crutch I can rely on. Instead I'm simply a guy that has watched one (thousand) too many movies and killed one (million) too many brain cells. But this is America last I checked, and as far as I can tell the Roman Empire will crumble soon enough so I am here to layeth some trutheth downeth Gwyneth style.*

The current strife in the NFL's ongoing labor dispute seemed eerily familiar, so much so that I had to drunk dial YouTube a few times last night to make sure it was cool if I came over. Spoiler alert it was, and I did, and in my visit I found exactly what I was looking for. Now before I give away the goods like Suri Cruise to Jaden Smith in ten years, I should set the table. The breakdown is simple, or at least the simplified version I am presenting is, and believe it or not somewhat justified on both sides. Owners want to get richer as rich people tend to do and a good way to help that is to stop paying rookies a million dollars for every bench press they do at the combine. Players on the other hand want to have some security since they are putting their well being at risk and all, so guaranteed contracts would be a pretty nice change. But keep in mind the players would be playing right now, they aren't responsible for the lockout anymore than I was responsible for Target being closed when I showed up there Easter morning with a zombie like craving for Little Caesar's. Damn you diminutive Caesar and rising from the dead Jesus!

Anyhow this is actually a lot more complicated than my simplified look, but it gets you a good idea that there legitimately are valid reasons for both sides to stand pat. This is what happens in negotiations. Then court got involved. The players union decertified so individuals could sue on the grounds that they were being refused the opportunity to work, or something along those lines, again no frozen caveman lawyer here. That's why you see the lawsuit using the big names like Brady, Manning and Danza. Fast forward to yesterday when Judge Nelson ruled for the players lifting the lockout, which was met with an immediate appeal by the owners. Nothing major here really right? Just more court rulings in store, apparently the judicial system was partly designed for dealing with American sports. Then commissioner Roger Goodell put on his best David Stern impression and posted this nauseating op-ed piece for the Wall Street Journal. Seriously, how does Tiger's marketing team have so many clients?

13 Awesome Predictions for the NBA playoffs

Our sometimes sports editor/season preview specialist Tanner stopped in with some predictions for the playoffs, thirteen awesome ones to be more specific.
  1. David Stern won't watch any games because he will be busy in the kitchen making his famous pooh tacos for Kings fans.
  2. Kobe Bryant will yell at his teammates after missing a shot.
  3. The Magic will beat the Bulls in round 2.
  4. The Thunder will beat the Miami SuperFriends to win the title.
  5. Russell Westbrook will be the Finals MVP.
  6. Tim Duncan will have one last great playoff series against the Grizzlies.
  7. Mike Dunleavy Jr will suck.
  8. The Knicks will pick and roll Shaq off the floor.
  9. Gerald Wallace will keep Dirk under his season average.
  10. DeShawn Stevenson will finally get the credit he deserves for having Abe Lincoln tattooed on his throat.
  11. Chris Paul will play his last 5 games for the Hornets.
  12. Jeff Van Gundy will be the best color man while negotiating with the Warriors to become their next head coach before and after games.
  13. I will watch every game and bring really a lot of twitter thunder while doing so.
You can catch up with said thunder by following Tanner on twitter.

Awesome Picks: NFL Week Nine

Traveling, bad jokes may have to wait.

Picks are bold, home team comes second. That's what she said.

  • Chicago @ Buffalo +3
  • San Diego @ Houston +3
  • New Orleans -6/5 @ Carolina
  • Arizona @ Minnesota -7.5
  • Tampa Bay +10 @ Atlanta
  • New York Jets -5.5 @ Detroit
  • Miami @ Baltimore -5
  • New England -4 @ Cleveland
  • New York Giants @ Seatlle +7.5
  • Kansas City PK @ Oakland
  • Indianapolis +3 @ Philadelphia
  • Dallas +7 @ Green Bay
  • Pittsburgh -5 @ Cincinnati

Last week: 6-7

Overall: 51-47-3

2010-11 Golden State Warriors Preview: It's Not So Hard To Say Goodbye

Editor's note: Tanner actually submitted this before the Warriors started the season 2-0, somehow the stupid editor just took forever to post it. In my defense there was a Jean Claude Van Damme marathon I was partaking in on my couch, so it's not like there was really a choice in the matter.

With the 1-6 49ers well on their way to nailing my 9-7, division-winning season prediction, I thought I’d stop by and crack another egg of knowledge on your head, this time previewing one of the proudest franchises in all of sports, The Golden State Warriors.

You can’t talk about the NBA offseason without mentioning the one thing that was on everybody’s mind---would Chris Cohan finally die and rot in hell, oops, I mean, would he finally sell the Warriors. Dreams do come true, apparently, b/c he not only sold the team he sold it to a pretty awesome duo: one guy who’s from the Bay Area and has been a minority owner of the Celtics and one guy who produced Tango and Cash. The only way the offseason could have been better was if SHA member in good standing Red didn’t renege on his promise to host a champagne party if Cohan ever sold.

The team also made some fairly substantial moves on the court, starting with trading for David Lee, fresh off an allstar season with the Knicks. The price was reasonably high, both in dollars, as they had to sign him to an $80 million contract, and in talent, as they had to include everybody’s favorite prospect, Anthony Randolph in the deal. That said, Lee should be a good fit. He‘s a good character guy, he’s an efficient scorer, he rebounds and he and franchise player Steph Curry should play well off each other. Next they essentially traded Anthony Morrow for Dorell Wight, trying to get a more well rounded player on the wing. They signed Louis Amundson to be a backup big. They signed Rodney Carney to give them some depth on the wing. Reggie Williams should give them one of the better scoring 6th men in the association. Brandan Wight theoretically still has some potential. The hope is that these players combined with a bounceback season from Andris Biedrins, a more consistent season from Monta Ellis and continued development from Curry will get them back on the road to respectability. At the very least, they are starting a legitimate NBA player at every position on the floor and they are going to have some legitimate NBA size in the frontcourt for the first time in a while.

Championship parades through the beautiful streets of Oakland shouldn’t be planned just yet, but things are definitely looking up. With Cohan finally out, with a fairly decent young core on the roster and with about $15 million in expiring contracts the Warriors are in a place where a competent organization could make something happen. Your move, Lacob.

Awesome Picks: NFL Week Eight

Picks are bold, home team comes second. That's what she said.

  • Denver @ San Francisco -2.5 - Fitting that the London game should feature college level football. Kyle Orton vs Troy Smith might just turn this in to a soccer game.
  • Jacksonville @ Dallas -6.5 - When a QB controversy can start brewing after a John Kitna start you know things aren't going well. Sorry Tony, that's what happens when you don't go onstage at a Steel Panther show.
  • Washington +3 @ Detroit - Everyone loves Detroit every week, and noone ever likes Washington. Everyone is always wrong.
  • Green Bay @ New York Jets -6.5 - Spread is a bit higher than I would like but Green Bay has some serious health issues the Jets should capitalize on.
  • Carolina @ St Louis -3 - Taking St Louis as 3 point favorites, football in 2010.
  • Miami -1 @ Cincinnati - The TOcho show is almost as gross as this football game will be to watch. That's what she said.
  • Buffalo +7 @ Kansas City - All aboard the Fitzpatrick Express. There are going to be lots of points scored here, the Men's Warehouse guarantees it.
  • Tennessee +5 @ San Diego - Am I missing something about San Diego?  They suck, can't we just agree on that.
  • Tampa Bay +3 @ Arizona - Feisty Bucs keep on feisting.
  • Seattle +2 @ Oakland - Barf, you couldn't pay me to watch this game, unless it was the only football game on of course.
  • Minnesota +5.5 @ New England - Drama etc.
  • Pittsburgh +1.5 @ New Orleans - The best team in football goes to New Orleans to play last year's luckiest team. Expect up to 4,309 people dressed up as Drew Brees' son.
  • Houston @ Indianapolis -5.5 -  Redemption game for the Colts.

Last Week: 6-8

Overall: 45-40-3


Awesome Picks: NFL Week Five

It's been a rough week with very little productivity on the site but you try and maintain a website during a west coast Umphrey's tour that coincides with the Giants return to the playoffs the same week that  NBA2k11 is released as well as the brand new NBA Jam for Wii.  What can I say, I'm only human.  Or am I dancer?

Picks are bold, home teams come second. That's what she said. Witty commentary forthcoming I just thought I would post the picks first.

Denver + 8 @ Baltimore

Jacksonville +2.5 @ Buffalo

Kansas City @ Indianapolis -7.5

St Louis +3 @ Detroit

Atlanta -3 @ Cleveland

Tampa Bay + 7 @ Cincinnati

Chicago @ Carolina -3

Green Bay -3 @ Washington

New York Giants +3 @ Houston

New Orleans - 7 @ Arizona

San Diego -7 @ Oakland

Tennessee +7 @ Dallas

Philadelphia @ San Francisco -3

Minnesota +4.5 @ New York Jets

Last Week: 10-4

Overall: 25-20-1

Awesome Picks: NFL Week Four

Slowly creeping back to respectability much like Tony Danza will after his new show is erased from our collective memories with that Men In Black mind eraser thingy. Bye weeks start this week so there are less games to bet on which in turn should mean you don't lose as much money. Funny how it never really works out that way.

Picks are bold, home teams come second. That's what she said.

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