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Keyshawn Johnson + Interior Design = Reality Show

USC must be proud. Former self-centered WR turned self-centered analyst Keyshawn Johnson plans to further center on his self with an upcoming reality show. Obviously it has nothing to do with sports, turns out Keyshawn is trying to start his own interior-design business, because he really knows how to make things look good when you have like 20 million in the bank. The show will be on A&E and will go by the super clever title "Keyshawn Johnson: Tackling Design". Get it, he used to play football, which is a sport in which people tackle and get tackled. Sometimes people use the term tackle to also mean taking on a project or challenge. In this case we are combining the football reference with the challenge he will face in starting his own interior-design business!

I really think they should consider this song as the intro music for the show. Seems fitting.

Avatar to Change World One IMAX3D Theater at a Time

Sometimes I think James Cameron is a pompous piece of shit, but he is also a talented pompous piece of shit. And truth be told I have never met him and he actually seems kind of cool whenever I see footage of him. His newest project Avatar has some ambition behind it, only to change the way movies are made forever. Fox and IMAX announced that the film will be released simultaneously in IMAX 3D, like duh.

"Our goal with Avatar is to revolutionize live-action 3-D movie-making, and I have no doubt that it will look and sound incredible in IMAX 3-D," Cameron said. "The larger field of view and power surround sound of an IMAX theatre will completely immerse the audience in a way that cannot be experienced anywhere else."

He later added off the record, "It's the visual version of the brown sound, if you know what I mean". The movie is about some ex-marine in the middle of some fighting on some weird alien planet.

As an Avatar -- a human mind in an alien body -- he finds himself torn between two worlds, fighting for his own survival and that of the indigenous people.

There is no doubt that James Cameron is a masterful story teller, and a visionary. Add in "groundbreaking techniques" and throw it in Cameron's scifi wheelhouse and it seems you have a surefire hit. A couple weeks ago Jon Favreau said he saw an early cut and it is the future of movies. Sounds good to me, a hope for change!

Here is the (really good) teaser trailer.

Rambo Becomes Expendable But Probably More Rambo Still

Buried in this mess of a story is the fact that they are planning on another Rambo. Stallone is a piece of work I tell you. I also forgot to mention that Frank Stallone shattered my "Guys I Respect Because They Are Related To People That Are Really Sweet" theory when he was the biggist ninny I have ever seen on Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling. That being said Sly Stallone is still writing , albeit incredibly poorly. Based on his own original screenplay, with Sly again in the directing chair, The Expendables will team Stallone along with Jason Statham (Transporter guy) and Jet Li (one of those karate dudes) as a group of mercenaries that are supposed to do some stuff, presumably with their brute strength and glares.

In "Expendables," the main characters are sent to infiltrate a South American country and overthrow its ruthless dictator to liberate the population. Their team is "expendable," hired to do jobs that no one else can or will.

Principal photography will begin in February in Costa Rica and Louisiana. The producers are courting big international presales at the American Film Market.

Producers are courting money? That can't be right. I expect this movie to be a terd sandwich, hold the mayo.

Allen Iverson Joins Forces With Rasheed Wallace, Racist White People Freak Out

Chauncey Billups and Antonio McDyess have been shipped out of Detroit for one Allen Iverson. Pretty big trade for the last day of the first week of the season. Are we sure this wasn't just a fantasy trade?

I like this trade for both teams actually, basically because neither was going anywhere. Iverson and Melo didn't work, that team sucks, get some upcoming cap relief and a quality pg. When your last "quality PG" was someone that is not even a quality PG (yes I am talking about you Andre Miller), its safe to say Billups will be well received, doesn't hurt that he went to Boulder.

Detroit needed to do something, that team had no fire, would be effective throughout the regular season, then implode from apathy in the playoffs. At the very least Iverson should fire up Rasheed a little bit. I see a lot more feisty games for Detroit this year than there have been since they won the title.

And obviously it goes without saying to pick up JR Smith in all fantasy formats.

Could Anything Be More Wrong?

I can't think of a single person involved that is making any sense. I don't even know where to start, aside from the prayers I have already prayered praying this never happens.

Produced by ABC Studios and penned by Lawrence and "Scrubs" writer Kevin Biegel, "Cougar Town" centers on an attractive, newly single 40-year-old mom (Cox) with a 17-year-old son.

"Forty-year-old women on TV are so beautiful and perfect and wrinkle-free," said Lawrence, who first worked with Cox when he was a writer on "Friends." "People don't do the reality of it, and there is a real comedy area about a woman who is talking about Botox, about having sex with the lights on and how her body is changing."

Either I am in bizarro world or that last bit is a really good joke. Nobody wants to see any of that. I am already having nightmares about the commercials.

"She's 40, and she has sex with younger people! This week featuring a special cameo with Linda Hogan!"

Hank Hill Loses Job, Blames Economy

Fox has decided to pass on renewing the Family Guy for a 13th season. All five fans were really upset.

After several previous brushes with cancellation, the network has opted not to renew the series beyond its current 13th season.

In April, Fox picked up 13 more episodes from the 20th Century Fox TV-produced show, which are wrapping production.

When reached for comment Mike Judge replied, "They still make that show?"

Seems even a propane salesman isn't safe in this economy.

John Daly Got Drunk and Passed Out at Hooters

The life of John Daly is a tragic story. This is really funny once you get over that part.

In the latest chapter of Daly's longtime struggle with alcohol abuse, he was held overnight in a North Carolina jail after passing out at a Hooters restaurant, according to a statement released by Winston-Salem police on Wednesday.

...When police arrived, Daly, who had passed out at the restaurant, was already being treated by emergency medical workers, according to police reports. Emergency workers said Daly refused to go to a hospital.

According to police, Daly "appeared extremely intoxicated and uncooperative." Daly again refused to go to the hospital and was eventually asked to leave by Hooters employees, police said.

Not much else to say here.

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