The Dark Knight Rises Trailer Promises Football, Voiceover

Synopsis: 
Eight years after the events of The Dark Knight, the terrorist leader Bane arrives in Gotham City, pushing it and its police force to their limits, forcing its former hero Batman to resurface after taking the fall for Harvey Dent's crimes.
Director: 
Christopher Nolan

It's hard to do anything but relish the awesome here, but let's be honest, all you can think about is Hines Ward. You can get mad all you want about Ward being over the hill, or crack wise about him outrunning anything at this point, but at least it wasn't Jamie Foxx. Aside from the horrible looking football the rest seems pretty Batmany and I mean that in the best way possible. All the Christopher Nolan superhero goodness will be heading your way July 20th with an "epic conclusion", like what happened in my pants when Anne Hathaway whispered in Bruce's ear.

Cast: 
Christian Bale
Tom Hardy
Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Anne Hathaway
Gary Oldman

Tim And Eric's Billion Dollar Movie Has A Real Trailer

Synopsis: 
An all new feature film from the twisted minds of cult comedy heroes Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim (“Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job”)! Tim and Eric are given a billion dollars to make a movie, but squander every dime… and the sinister Schlaaang corporation is pissed. Their lives at stake, the guys skip town in search of a way to pay the money back. When they happen upon a chance to rehabilitate a bankrupt mall full of vagrants, bizarre stores and a man-eating wolf that stalks the food court, they see dollar signs—a billion of them. Featuring cameos from Awesome Show regulars and some of the biggest names in comedy today!
Director: 
Tim Heidecker, Eric Wareheim

Not really sure how this is going to play out lengthwise - that's what she said - but I am pretty sure I can handle as much Tim and Eric as they're willing to throw at me. The rest of the world may differ, but they probably don't celebrate Chrimbus either those Scrooges. The film actually hits OnDemand about five weeks before the theaters so the best part is you won't even have to leave your couch. Shrim.

Cast: 
Tim Heidecker
Eric Wareheim
Zach Galifianakis
John C. Reilly
Will Ferrell

The Best Song & Video About The Broncos' Three Amigos Ever

This isn't the Men's Wearhouse but I absolutely guarantee that this is the best tribute song and video you will ever see about a trio of Denver Broncos' wide receivers. Especially now that they are going to start using extra offensive linemen split wide with Tim Tebow at quarterback. Relax, it's just a sports joke God, we like to have fun here.

For those wondering the "Three Amigos" in question are Mark Jackson, Vance Johnson and Ricky Nattiel. The song is presumably by Andrew Lloyd Weber or someone equally talented as evidenced by the genius use of "touchdown banditos". [via Everything Is Terrible]

Friday's Foreign Covers: A Small Victory

When I think of Faith No More there are quite a few instruments that float through my head before arriving at ukulele. Thankfully Brazilian youtuber liaamancio isn't at all like me, aside from the fact that she loves Faith No More, hence the uke cover of "A Small Victory" above. I was hoping for a bit more Mike Patton growl for the sore losers and winners but you certainly can't question the effort. Of course this led me to go stumbling further down the cover rabbit hole where I found this gem of a version below that applies to the category as well, complete with Costa Rican Kurt Dyer going full growl for his solo acoustic take. Good times.

Watch tUnE-yArDs Do A Tiny Desk Concert

It's officially December which means you are about to get inundated with best of lists, and as a lazy segue how about we watch some of the songs from one of my favorite albums of the year being performed in a crowded office? Thanks to the gift that keeps on giving, NPR, you can see Merrill Garbus and the rest of tUne-yArDs rock three tunes from their fantastic album w h o k i l l. If by chance you have no clue about the band, I recommend at least a test viewing as Garbus has quite the way of drawing you in, mainly by being incredibly awesome.

Kids Incorporated Mondays: You Make My Dreams Come True

First off let me apologize. For all the times I have entered "Kids Incorporated Hall And Oates" in to the youtube search field, I have failed to stumble across this wonderous version of the incredibly smooth duo's "You Make My Dreams Come True". Aside from the original being one of the all time great make you feel good songs, the Kids Inc gang really shine in their version. You want attitude? Jerry is going to make you overdose on attitude. How about lime green? Yes I'll take all the outfits you have thanks. And of course what good is a Kids Incorporated video without spitting some truth down in the comments section? Take it away mythical creatures that learned to type:

timberwolfbabe - Jerry and Martika had great chemistry together on stage. They naturally clicked together when they did songs together.

BOAFASOLDIER - yes they did as did stacy and ryan

1234cait - It is so cute when Stacy is holding Jerry's hand at around 2:11

musicrox83 - I wish they still had this kinda clean shows of t.v. to watch.

timberwolfbabe - So true.

So fresh, so clean, so true. Thanks timberwolfbabe.

Stream The (Amazing) New Ryan Adams Album Ashes And Fire

I'm pretty much a blubbering mess right now and that is not a fat joke thank you very much. Thanks to the wonderful people over at NPR we can all now stream the great Ryan Adams brand new album Ashes And Fire. While the album won't officially hit shelves until October 11th, the preview should allow for plentiful listens of the legal variety ahead of the street date at which time we should all buy multiple copies of the new album to make the greatest living songwriter not named Brian Wilson feel loved. A segue of sorts to the theme of the new album, but I'll let you decide. Listen away, it's great. 

Those not partaking in the super sold out west coast shows following the album's release will also be happy to learn Adams has announced a new set of US dates starting on December 2nd in Philadelphia. As has been the case with his latest outings these shows will feature Ryan solo, otherwise known as a show you can't miss. Dates and stream below. Happy days.

12/2 Philadelphia, PA – Academy of Music Tix on sale Friday @ 10am
12/4 Baltimore, MD – Lyric Opera House Tix on sale Friday @ 10am
12/6 New York, NY – Carnegie Hall Tix on sale Friday @ 11am
12/8 Boston, MA – Orpheum Theatre Tix on sale Friday @ 10am
12/10 Toronto, ON – Winter Garden Theatre Tix on sale Friday @ 10am
12/11 Chicago, IL – Cadillac Place Tix on sale Saturday @ 10am
12/13 Minneapolis, MN – State Theatre Tix on sale Saturday @ 12pm

Super Hella Halloween: Hello, It's Happening

Mark it dude. October 29th at the Red Devil Lounge, Stenner Glen and Smell The Glove present Super Hella Halloween.

As if you've still got your pants on.

Ryan Adams Details New Album Ashes & Fire, West Coast Tour

The greatness that is Ryan Adams recently detailed the most exciting album of 2011, his latest solo effort titled Ashes & Fire, for which Congress has added a special session to debate declaring the October 11th release date a national holiday. While we await word on the political ramifications of the new album, it's worth noting Norah Jones will be joining in on some backing vocals, an especially promising thought when you recall the haunting beauty of the pair's previous work together on "Dear John" from the fantastic Jacksonville City Lights. For the latest effort Adams kept things in the family by employing Glyn Johns in the producer's chair, the father of his usual solo album producer, Ethan Johns. Of course this wasn't just throwing him a bone as the elder Johns has worked with some artists you might have heard of like The Rolling Stones, The Who, and some band called The Beatles.

To coincide with the eleven song set, the legendary (yes, he is a legend) songwriter will pack up his acoustic and notebook for a solo tour up the west coast starting in San Diego on the presumed new national holiday. While he taunts with my emotions and skips a Los Angeles gig, there is a ton of fun involved for those bigger fans that might be taking a week off work as there will be stops in Napa, Big Sur, Santa Cruz, Sacramento, a San Francisco proper show as well as a visit to the hippies up in Eugene, Oregon. Either way some awesome times ahead. Tickets for the newly announced shows will go on sale this Friday with details and those types of shenanigans available at the official Pax-Am Records site.

Ashes & Fire Tracklist

Dirty Rain
Ashes & Fire
Come Home
Rocks
Do I Wait
Chains Of Love
Invisible Riverside
Save Me
Kindness
Lucky Now
I Love You But I Don’t Know What To Say

West Coast Tour Dates

10/11 San Diego, CA – Balboa Theatre
10/13 Big Sur, CA – Henry Miller Library
10/14 San Francisco, CA – Herbst Theatre
10/15 Napa, CA – Uptown Theatre
10/17 Santa Cruz, CA – Rio Theatre
10/18 Sacramento, CA – Crest Theatre
10/20 Eugene, OR – The Shedd Institute

David Hasselhoff Does Porn For Sons Of Anarchy

In news that undoubtedly will set your heart a flutter, the one and only David Hasselhoff has signed on to join the boys of SAMCRO on the upcoming fourth season of FX's fantastic Sons Of Anarchy. In a role that sounds even better than last season's cleaner, played by Stephen King, the Hoff will fufill his life long destiny of joining the porn industry. Clearly the cheeseburger afficianado negotiated some anatomy descriptors in to his contract.

The former America's Got Talent judge will play Dondo, a well-endowed former porn star who is now making major coin by producing sleazy girl-on-girl adult films. Turns out Dondo was given a major career boost by Luanne (Dendrie Taylor) and gets involved in a little dirty work in her memory.

Sadly I've never met an adult film producer, but I can't imagine any of them fill the stereotype I envision any better than the Hoff. But wait, it gets better, sort of. Per showrunner/potty mouth extraordinaire Kurt Sutter comes the following mind-blower:

here's the best part... hoff and tom arnold in the same scene. say it ain't so, joe. say it ain't so...  

Oh how I love thee Mr. Sutter. Season 4 of the third best show on television (1 - South Park, 2- Breaking Bad) starts some time this September.  [via tvguide]

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