Bad Idea Jeans

There's one topic that seems to be coming up quite a bit lately when I'm out kicking it with the fellas or slaying harems of women in my bedroom.  That topic being whether or not there will ever be another version of the cinematic masterpiece that is 1995's own Judge Dredd. Well strap on your judge and jury suits fellas, and get some fresh air harem, because Deadline is about to make your day.

The best way to get Cannes buyers hot and bothered is to come to market with a branded property that has potentially big commercial appeal, cool elements and a reasonable budget. Here's one that fits that bill: Andrew Macdonald’s DNA Films has made a deal with India-based Reliance Big Entertainment to finance Judge Dredd, a 3D film that was scripted by Alex Garland, and will be directed by Pete Travis, best known for a Vantage Point and Omagh.

My favorite part about the story is that the "reasonable budget" is supposedly $50 million. You might remember Universal passed on the new Paul Thomas Anderson project because of its $35 million tag. That makes a lot of sense. I guess some people just really really love Judge Dredd.  They do know that this isn't a takeoff of Judge Judy right?

Just because each successive movie gets worse in a franchise, doesn't mean Hollywood is going to stop making them. Look no further than the news that Fox is in negotiations to hire Skip Woods to write a new Die Hard movie. If you're not worried about the involvement of Skip Woods you might want to rethink your position as he has Hitman, Swordfish, and the so awful it's still awful X-Men Origins: Wolverine on his resume. Woods also wrote the upcoming A-Team film, so someone clearly likes his work.

As a red blooded male I will always have a soft spot for John McClane, mainly just so everyone thinks I'm as cool and tough as my Tony Robbins audiotapes say I am. That still doesn't mean I want another one.  Will I see it? Enter affirmative zinger here, but I also watched The Tooth Fairy so I'm not sure how much that counts. What do you think about Die Hard 5: Die Hardererest?  [via risky business]

Little know fact but The Matrix was named thusly after the Wachowski brothers watched Commando for the first time. The idea being that the film's title character, John Matrix, played brilliantly by a young Austrian whipper snapper, would serve as the perfect Morpheus for their new film. Unfortunately Arnold Schwarzanegger didn't take the part due to a longstanding personal issue with Keanu Reeves and more specifically his band Dogstarr, but the name stuck. I'm fairly certain all of that is factual.

I bring this up because the Hollywood suck factory has decided that Commando needs to be remade.

20th Century Fox is going Commando again, setting David Ayer to write and direct a reboot of the 1985 film that became one of the building blocks that transformed Arnold Schwarzenegger from bodybuilder to superstar. Erwin Stoff and John Davis will produce the new version.

Ayer is the former Navy soldier who wrote Training Day and moved into directing with the dark dramas Harsh Times and Street Kings. He will put his own real-world spin on this original premise: a retired elite special forces operative sees his daughter kidnapped and is told she’ll die unless he gets on a plane and kills the rival of a nasty exiled dictator. In the original, Schwarzenegger jumped off the plane before takeoff, and killed everyone involved in the kidnap plot, in a real beefcake turn that followed Terminator. Ayer’s protagonist will be less brawny, but more skilled in covert tactics and weaponry.   [via deadline]

Of course this project gets the full on Bad Idea Jeans treatment. The last thing in the world Commando needs is an added dose of realism, as the film's lack of any semblance of realism is what made the original so mind-blowingly awesome in the first place. The one thing I will give them credit for is the less brawny plan, as clearly the Governator won't be starring in the remake, and sticking to the brawny plan would get us some MMA douchecopter.  As if any of that really matters though, we all know they are casting the Rock in this bad boy eventually. Oh sorry, Dwayne Johnson.

So apparently they are making a Joe Namath biopic, with the totally believable casting of Jake Gyllenhaal to play the legendary quarterback.  I'm assuming there is some sort of misunderstanding between the pieces involved, presumably over the nickname Broadway Joe.  It seems pretty clear Gyllenhaal would love to star in a movie about an ordinary Joe becoming a Broadway sensation with tons of flashy musical numbers and costumes, but NFL quarterback?  Seriously?

The story is that Gyllenhaal was attached to the project a few years ago, based on a script by David Hollander.  There had been no movement on the project for some time, but now Pajiba is reporting that Walk The Line director James Mangold is now attached as well.  Considering that Mangold also has a Dusty Springfield film in the works it is safe to say the man enjoys dealing with the biopics.  His newest film is the ridiculous looking actioner Knight & Day with Cameron Diaz and Tom Cruise.

No word yet on who will be cast as Suzy Kolber.   [via pajiba]