How To Wednesdays

How To Wednesdays: Get Yourself Adopted (Canine Version)

Submitted by phletch on Wed, 2010-04-14 10:59
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Here's the situation.  You're a dog.  You want a home.  You're being showcased as "Iams Adoptable Pet of the Game" at a Northwest Arkansas Naturals game.  The showcase is over and you are being escorted off the luscious grass.  What do you do?

Thanks to the wonderful video below we now have an answer.  If this delightful little booger wasn't adopted after his valiant efforts and world class hijinks then I don't know the people of northwestern Arkansas nearly as well as I thought I did.  They have webbed feet right?

Also amazing lack of assistance by the center fielder.

Thanks to mosa for the tip.

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How To Wednesdays: Write A Nicholas Sparks Movie

Submitted by phletch on Wed, 2010-04-07 09:59
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They forgot the step about not going to see the movie but aside from that it seems about right.  [via cracked]

How To Wednesdays: It's Levitation Holmes

Submitted by phletch on Wed, 2010-03-10 13:36
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The Everything Is Terrible gang is at it again with this glorious instructional video about levitation.  If you have ever wanted to really impress some people with some far out shit this is your chance.  Or you could just smoke a bunch of grass and write a poem detailing your love for the cosmos.  I'd probably stick with learning to levitate though, chicks dig it. 

How To Wednesdays: Sword Practice

Submitted by phletch on Wed, 2010-01-20 02:00
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I'm not exactly sure how safe it is to adjust your mullet tail during a real life swordfight, but other than that I think the moves are pretty spot on. [via]

How To Wednesdays: Old School Rickroll

Submitted by phletch on Wed, 2010-01-13 13:37
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This is pretty great, an old school Rickroll.  Simple yet elegant.  This was apparently placed at a workers desk after someone else told him they found this really awesome tape that he needed to check out.  Probably said it was that Skid Row one I used to have, that tape was totally sweet.  [via]

How To Wednesdays: Get Buff Like A Mastodon

Submitted by phletch on Wed, 2010-01-06 17:10
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Here is a very informative animated lesson about mastodons, who apparently fit almost all of my parent's racist stereotype's perfectly.  Also interesting to note that they are powered by milk, you really do learn something new everyday. 

Obviously my favorite is Musclehead, because he sounds so much like me, what with the perfect specimen and favorite exercise being thinking traits.  Thanks to the Everything Is Terrible gang for the awesome. [via]

How To Wednesdays: Acting Over A Green Screen

Submitted by phletch on Wed, 2009-12-30 06:30
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With the advances in technology these days a lot of people are getting into producing their own videos.  Here we have some old ladies doing their best Golden Girls imitation as they "ride a roller coaster".  I don't want to give too many industry secrets away but I am pretty certain they are using a green screen.  By watching these two ladies you can learn all you need to know about how to act when filming using a green screen.  Now go get famous!

And just because I love you here is an amazingly bad youtube version of the greatest green screen scene in history from Wayne's World.

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How To Wednesdays: Eat A Flat Chicken Wing

Submitted by phletch on Wed, 2009-11-11 11:32
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I really wanted to title this Eat A Flat Chicken Wing and Not Drive This Guy Insane, but it would have taken up two lines and made things look a little funny.  Truth be told I literally had no idea about this process, and I will clearly be putting it to the test the next time I am faced with a pile of chicken wings.  I just hope the guy that made the video isn't there in case I do it the wrong way.  via

How To Wednesdays: Relax During Sex With Someone New

Submitted by phletch on Wed, 2009-09-02 07:44
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Where was this video when I really needed it for the first time last week.  Damn dial up connection, I never get the good stuff until it's too late.  Anyways, here are a few of my own personal tips for your first time in the sack with john or johnina

  • Chicks love doing it the first time to that song I'm Turning Japanese
  • Dudes always like it if the girl leaves the tv on ESPN or The Knife Show
  • The in-betweens usually want to listen to Miley Cyrus

 

How To Wednesdays: Massage A Cat

Submitted by phletch on Wed, 2009-08-19 13:45
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Thanks to the wonderful crew over at Everything Is Terrible, this week's resurrection of How To Wednesdays will at the very least (possibly) help you get laid by a very, very, creepy old lady. Or maybe even that scary singer woman from England everyone already forgot about. Ladies and gentleman, enjoy your first foray into the seductive world of Cat Massage.

For more terrible awesomeness head on over to www.everythingisterrible.com

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