NFL

The Best Song & Video About The Broncos' Three Amigos Ever

This isn't the Men's Wearhouse but I absolutely guarantee that this is the best tribute song and video you will ever see about a trio of Denver Broncos' wide receivers. Especially now that they are going to start using extra offensive linemen split wide with Tim Tebow at quarterback. Relax, it's just a sports joke God, we like to have fun here.

For those wondering the "Three Amigos" in question are Mark Jackson, Vance Johnson and Ricky Nattiel. The song is presumably by Andrew Lloyd Weber or someone equally talented as evidenced by the genius use of "touchdown banditos". [via Everything Is Terrible]

SHA Takes On The NFL Lockout With The Bad News Bears

I'm not a scientist, and believe me this would all be a lot easier if I were just a thawed out caveman, but again, that is not a crutch I can rely on. Instead I'm simply a guy that has watched one (thousand) too many movies and killed one (million) too many brain cells. But this is America last I checked, and as far as I can tell the Roman Empire will crumble soon enough so I am here to layeth some trutheth downeth Gwyneth style.*

The current strife in the NFL's ongoing labor dispute seemed eerily familiar, so much so that I had to drunk dial YouTube a few times last night to make sure it was cool if I came over. Spoiler alert it was, and I did, and in my visit I found exactly what I was looking for. Now before I give away the goods like Suri Cruise to Jaden Smith in ten years, I should set the table. The breakdown is simple, or at least the simplified version I am presenting is, and believe it or not somewhat justified on both sides. Owners want to get richer as rich people tend to do and a good way to help that is to stop paying rookies a million dollars for every bench press they do at the combine. Players on the other hand want to have some security since they are putting their well being at risk and all, so guaranteed contracts would be a pretty nice change. But keep in mind the players would be playing right now, they aren't responsible for the lockout anymore than I was responsible for Target being closed when I showed up there Easter morning with a zombie like craving for Little Caesar's. Damn you diminutive Caesar and rising from the dead Jesus!

Anyhow this is actually a lot more complicated than my simplified look, but it gets you a good idea that there legitimately are valid reasons for both sides to stand pat. This is what happens in negotiations. Then court got involved. The players union decertified so individuals could sue on the grounds that they were being refused the opportunity to work, or something along those lines, again no frozen caveman lawyer here. That's why you see the lawsuit using the big names like Brady, Manning and Danza. Fast forward to yesterday when Judge Nelson ruled for the players lifting the lockout, which was met with an immediate appeal by the owners. Nothing major here really right? Just more court rulings in store, apparently the judicial system was partly designed for dealing with American sports. Then commissioner Roger Goodell put on his best David Stern impression and posted this nauseating op-ed piece for the Wall Street Journal. Seriously, how does Tiger's marketing team have so many clients?

Awesome Picks: NFL Week Nine

Traveling, bad jokes may have to wait.

Picks are bold, home team comes second. That's what she said.

  • Chicago @ Buffalo +3
  • San Diego @ Houston +3
  • New Orleans -6/5 @ Carolina
  • Arizona @ Minnesota -7.5
  • Tampa Bay +10 @ Atlanta
  • New York Jets -5.5 @ Detroit
  • Miami @ Baltimore -5
  • New England -4 @ Cleveland
  • New York Giants @ Seatlle +7.5
  • Kansas City PK @ Oakland
  • Indianapolis +3 @ Philadelphia
  • Dallas +7 @ Green Bay
  • Pittsburgh -5 @ Cincinnati

Last week: 6-7

Overall: 51-47-3

Awesome Picks: NFL Week Eight

Picks are bold, home team comes second. That's what she said.

  • Denver @ San Francisco -2.5 - Fitting that the London game should feature college level football. Kyle Orton vs Troy Smith might just turn this in to a soccer game.
  • Jacksonville @ Dallas -6.5 - When a QB controversy can start brewing after a John Kitna start you know things aren't going well. Sorry Tony, that's what happens when you don't go onstage at a Steel Panther show.
  • Washington +3 @ Detroit - Everyone loves Detroit every week, and noone ever likes Washington. Everyone is always wrong.
  • Green Bay @ New York Jets -6.5 - Spread is a bit higher than I would like but Green Bay has some serious health issues the Jets should capitalize on.
  • Carolina @ St Louis -3 - Taking St Louis as 3 point favorites, football in 2010.
  • Miami -1 @ Cincinnati - The TOcho show is almost as gross as this football game will be to watch. That's what she said.
  • Buffalo +7 @ Kansas City - All aboard the Fitzpatrick Express. There are going to be lots of points scored here, the Men's Warehouse guarantees it.
  • Tennessee +5 @ San Diego - Am I missing something about San Diego?  They suck, can't we just agree on that.
  • Tampa Bay +3 @ Arizona - Feisty Bucs keep on feisting.
  • Seattle +2 @ Oakland - Barf, you couldn't pay me to watch this game, unless it was the only football game on of course.
  • Minnesota +5.5 @ New England - Drama etc.
  • Pittsburgh +1.5 @ New Orleans - The best team in football goes to New Orleans to play last year's luckiest team. Expect up to 4,309 people dressed up as Drew Brees' son.
  • Houston @ Indianapolis -5.5 -  Redemption game for the Colts.

Last Week: 6-8

Overall: 45-40-3


Awesome Picks: NFL Week Five

It's been a rough week with very little productivity on the site but you try and maintain a website during a west coast Umphrey's tour that coincides with the Giants return to the playoffs the same week that  NBA2k11 is released as well as the brand new NBA Jam for Wii.  What can I say, I'm only human.  Or am I dancer?

Picks are bold, home teams come second. That's what she said. Witty commentary forthcoming I just thought I would post the picks first.

Denver + 8 @ Baltimore

Jacksonville +2.5 @ Buffalo

Kansas City @ Indianapolis -7.5

St Louis +3 @ Detroit

Atlanta -3 @ Cleveland

Tampa Bay + 7 @ Cincinnati

Chicago @ Carolina -3

Green Bay -3 @ Washington

New York Giants +3 @ Houston

New Orleans - 7 @ Arizona

San Diego -7 @ Oakland

Tennessee +7 @ Dallas

Philadelphia @ San Francisco -3

Minnesota +4.5 @ New York Jets

Last Week: 10-4

Overall: 25-20-1

Awesome Picks: NFL Week Four

Slowly creeping back to respectability much like Tony Danza will after his new show is erased from our collective memories with that Men In Black mind eraser thingy. Bye weeks start this week so there are less games to bet on which in turn should mean you don't lose as much money. Funny how it never really works out that way.

Picks are bold, home teams come second. That's what she said.

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