Politics

Mark your calendar's for October 30th as that day will mark two hugely successful, highly competitive rallies on the  National Mall in Washington, D.C. Fortunately you don't have to hold a specific belief this time as you will have options thanks to Jon Stewart of The Daily Show and Stephen Colbert of The Colbert Report.

If you are one of those people that are fed up with all the name-calling and general nonsense so prevalent in the media these days, you can join Team Stewart in his Rally To Restore Sanity. Of course that's not all emcompassing, so in an effort to bring an even larger group together bitter rival Colbert will lead his March To Keep Fear Alive on the same day. Hooray America!

Check out the awesome announcement videos below complete with their leader's official statements.

"I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore!"

Who among us has not wanted to open their window and shout that at the top of their lungs?

Seriously, who?

Because we're looking for those people. We're looking for the people who think shouting is annoying, counterproductive, and terrible for your throat; who feel that the loudest voices shouldn't be the only ones that get heard; and who believe that the only time it's appropriate to draw a Hitler mustache on someone is when that person is actually Hitler. Or Charlie Chaplin in certain roles.

Are you one of those people? Excellent. Then we'd like you to join us in Washington, DC on October 30 -- a date of no significance whatsoever -- at the Daily Show's "Rally to Restore Sanity." Ours is a rally for the people who've been too busy to go to rallies, who actually have lives and families and jobs (or are looking for jobs) -- not so much the Silent Majority as the Busy Majority. If we had to sum up the political view of our participants in a single sentence... we couldn't. That's sort of the point.

Think of our event as Woodstock, but with the nudity and drugs replaced by respectful disagreement; the Million Man March, only a lot smaller, and a bit less of a sausage fest; or the Gathering of the Juggalos, but instead of throwing our feces at Tila Tequila, we'll be actively *not* throwing our feces at Tila Tequila. Join us in the shadow of the Washington Monument. And bring your indoor voice. Or don't. If you'd rather stay home, go to work, or drive your kids to soccer practice... Actually, please come anyway. Ask the sitter if she can stay a few extra hours, just this once. We'll make it worth your while.

America, the Greatest Country God ever gave Man, was built on three bedrock principles: Freedom. Liberty. And Fear -- that someone might take our Freedom and Liberty. But now, there are dark, optimistic forces trying to take away our Fear -- forces with salt and pepper hair and way more Emmys than they need. They want to replace our Fear with reason. But never forget -- "Reason" is just one letter away from "Treason." Coincidence? Reasonable people would say it is, but America can't afford to take that chance.

So join The Rev. Sir Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. on October 30th for the "March to Keep Fear Alive"™ in Washington DC. Pack an overnight bag with five extra sets of underwear -- you're going to need them. Because, to Restore Truthiness we must always... Shh!!! What's that sound?! I think there's someone behind you! Run!

If you're like me you had better things to do on Saturday than pay attention to Glenn Beck's non-political ode to himself in Washington D.C. Thankfully for us those of us that missed the day's events, New Left Media went around and visited with some of the proud Americans who were there to help embrace all that is wrong with our wonderful country. Unfortunately these patriots are just a tad bit uninformed, although they wear denial nicely, sort of like that denim jacket you've been rocking lately. Feed me some Muslim lies you crazed new lefties.

On 8.28.2010, Glenn Beck’s “Restoring Honor” rally was held on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.  The purpose of the rally, which Beck claimed to be “non-political” despite featuring Tea Party-favorite Sarah Palin as a speaker and its being attended entirely by conservatives, was unclear.  The participants spoke abstractly about the need to restore “honor” and “pride” to a country that had lost it.  When pressed for when our country had lost its honor, most cited the election of Barack Obama.8.28.2010 also represented the 47th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King’s famous “I Have a Dream” speech, and Glenn Beck has been criticized for by civil rights groups for trying to misappropriate the occasion.

Last year, Beck referred to Barack Obama—our country’s first African-American President--as a “racist… who has a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture.”  When offered the chance to respond to Beck’s statements, his fans either agreed with him or simply refused to believe that he had ever made them.

While the speaker list was diverse, the overwhelmingly white crowd expressed paranoid and conspiratorial fears of multiculturalism—that atheists or black liberation theologists or radical Muslims or “free-loading” Latinos were going to ruin our country.  There was the constant suggestion that white Christians and their way of life are somehow under assault, and that the attendees of this rally were here to put an end to it and return the country to what it used to be.

Either way Glen Beck would never say Obama is a racist. It's thirteen minutes long so clear some schedule if you're going to take the plunge as it's thirteen minutes of bliss if you enjoy watching people disregard facts and reality. I'd also like to commend interviewer Chase Whiteside for his patience and lack of any mocking tone, which is the cheap route I would have taken.

Also I just know what my sister tells me.   [via the daily what]

Unfortunately I'm yet to reach the required age for my inevitable Presidency, but that doesn't mean I'm not keeping an eye out for my future competition. There was not too much concern on the wires lately and then Chelsea Clinton got married and now there's some smartypants up in Vermont getting all up into my political business. The strength of my candidacy was clearly going to be my amazing use of the Old Spice man, but now I'll have to think of something even more relevant and timeless.   [via the daily what]

On this not so glorious Tuesday (I can see a cloud outside), we are going to look at one of the most ridiculous women on the planet, former Alaska governor, former Vice Presidential candidate, and future television show producer Sarah Palin.

The first video up above is a proper tribute featuring mostly still shots of Mrs. Palin as R Kelly's The World's Greatest blasts in the background.  The greatness that is the pairing of R Kelly and Sarah Palin is of course exponentially greater when you realize the video was made by EmmyRossumFanForLife.  Yahtzee!

The second video is more of a blast from the past but it is still pretty fun as it get's some amazing Palinisms in there, mostly from extremely important interviews while she was out on the campaign trail.  Nice pick McCain.

As far as The World's Greatest?  Let's just agree to disagree.